Winter's Epiphany

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has spoken to me recently or who knows me well, that I have not been enjoying this winter. Call it the winter blahs, or winter malaise or winter depression, it's all the same thing. I know I'm not the only one who suffers, but this winter has been especially challenging for me.
As a matter of fact, this past week, when I should have been so happy because Paul has been home, has been one of the hardest. So bad that I told him a time or two that I'm not sure I can live here for the rest of my life! That's bad. As it turns out, I don't like being cold, or the dirty inversions, or being stuck in the house for weeks on end. I  even have "green dreams" at night. Dreams of flowers and hot sand and summer mountains.  I literally crave walks in the sun and the scents of living things. I can feel the sensation of walking barefoot on the grass and getting my hands dirty in the garden.  Yesterday I told Paul in a moment of desperation that we just have to get away! We have to go somewhere warm and bright and colorful!

This morning I opened the new issue of the Ensign. I flipped though the magazine, page by page. It's full of wonderful articles, faith promoting stuff that always motivates and encourages me. But when I got to page 40---my breath was taken away, literally. As I gasped with feelings of euphoria, I realized that I was hungrily touching and stroking the photos! I know this sounds very weird, but it's what happened. The title of the article is EARTH, A GIFT FROM GOD. It's a short article, but is accompanied by twelve photos of nature; full of color and wonder which filled me with yearning. I made Paul listen while I read the whole thing. (He's used to this, I do it all of the time.)

"For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited." (Isaiah 45:18), and, "he hath created his children that they should possess it." (1 Nephi 17:36) The earth sustains us, providing us with food and other materials that we need to survive and prosper." The Lord revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith: "Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart. Yea for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strength the body and to enliven the soul." (D&C 59:18-19) 

So it occurred to me that even the dark, cold winters were established  during the creation. Of course! For those of us living in the high desert of Utah, where our water needs are met only by what nature provides during the winter months of cold and snow, it is what has to be. It's all part of the plan! I definitely think it falls into the "need for opposition in all things" catagory, but simply realizing this, somehow makes it more tolerable, don't you think?  A metaphor for life.

 If there were no bleak winter months, would it be possible to truly appreciate spring?

There is no one more excited than I am when the first signs of spring appear. It's always been this way for me. It's beyond a feeling of relief or appreciation--it's a spiritual and physical reaction after the drought of winter. I am literally infused with strength and energy! 

I think what I have to learn to do better, is to appreciate the necessity of winter and embrace it with gratitude. It just has to be possible. In the mean time, I'm putting a book mark on page 40 of the February issue of the Ensign! I feel better for having read it, but I'm sure I'll have to be reminded several more times during the next few months. 

I'm feeling optimistic.